Once the nurse brought me upstairs the next twelvish hours are fairly fuzzy. I know that they kept checking on me, telling me that I was still losing a lot of blood, and they tried five different medications to try to get my uterus to contract and to get the blood to clot and stop. I was also in a lot of pain, so there were a lot of pain medications added to the mix. I was allowed to hold Marshall at the very beginning, but then they told me that they were taking him to the Nicu because he was born small and they wanted to make sure that he would eat.
After that first hold it was at least 8 hours before they let me hold him again. I kept asking every nurse that I saw, but they kept saying that I was too sick, that they needed to focus on getting me better before they could let me hold him. They tried the different medications throughout the day, and nothing really seemed to be working. I remember the surgeon coming in at one point, saying that he had talked to a doctor in Edmonton and that if they didn't get the bleeding under wraps, that they would have to send me there, though he was hopeful that it wouldn't happen.
I had a friend of a friend for a nurse in the afternoon, and she was wonderful, though it was easy to see the worry in her eyes. I cried off and on and still continued to ask to be able to hold Marshall, and was told that it might be able to happen after supper.
Though details are foggy, I do remember Sarah Lee looking in my eyes (the nurse) and tell me she was worried, that the bleeding wasn't stopping and by this point I had lost over 2 litres of blood. they brought me Marshall and I had him on my chest while the ob on call came to assess and decided that it was, in fact, necessary to send me to edmonton. They thought I needed an arterial embolism, and they were not equipped to do that procedure in Red Deer. I remember holding Marshall and crying, not knowing when I would see him again, and then my mom took him off my chest because the ambulance attendants were there and it was time to go. I insisted that Dan stay with Marshall because he needed at least one of his parents with him, and thankfully my mom came to edmonton with me, which is great because I could not have made that dark journey alone.
When I said goodbye to Dan I was afraid that I was saying goodbye forever. All the fears of leaving him a single dad, of never seeing my son again, these were running rampant through my head.
And we were off.
Once we got to Edmonton it was a bit of a shit show. the unit the ambulance attendants were told to take us to had no idea we were coming, so we were waiting in emerg for over two hours. While there they tried some of the same medications that they had tried in Red Deer, which only frustrated me because I knew they didn't work and I didn't want them to keep trying. One girl wanted to try to put a third IV in me and I broke down at that point, explaining how many IV attempts I had had, and that it wasn't happening for them to get me another one.
Throughout the days I hoped that Marshall could be released from the NICU and come stay with me in Edmonton, but he still wasn't feeding super great, so I began to realize that likely wouldn't happen.
Once I was transferred upstairs they wouldn't let my mom stay with me in the room, saying that there wasn't enough room, and I had a nurse watching me constantly. I didn't sleep much, but know that at one point on Thursday morning my blood pressure dipped to 80/40 and they said I had lost over 3 litres of blood, and at that point I was rushed to the OR to have a DnC and a balloon type device inserted into my uterus to put pressure on the bleed and hopefully stop it. This was the first and safest procedure for me. If it didn't work, then they would have to try the arterial embolism, and if that didn't work they would have to do a hysterectomy. The hysterectomy would be very, very dangerous for me at this point as I had already lost so much blood and had just gone through major abdominal surgery. I was given more blood transfusions and while I was under they put in a third IV, an arterial lead that they could take blood directly out of instead of poking me every time they needed it. Apparently it was a difficult lead to put in (duh) and one of the nurses remarked that she was very happy I was not awake for it, as it took another four tries to get in me. I sure have the bruises to prove it though.
After this it was a waiting game. more IV fluids, not allowed to eat or drink, and just hoping and praying that the bleeding would stop. my dad and Dan came up to visit me in Edmonton, and I was told tales of how Marshall was doing.
Friday morning they took out the balloon that they had inserted and even more waiting ensued. they finally let me drink water after this (after not being able to for days) and by friday evening I was allowed to eat small amounts of food. By then the nurses and doctors were fairly certain that the procedure had been a success and the bleeding was minimal (which is normal after giving birth). I was told that so long as nothing changed throughout the night, I could go home in the morning.
Saturday morning I was discharged and was able to come home to my Dan and my Marshall. I was nervous and excited but so ready to be out of the hospital.
More on the reunion for the next post...
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