Sunday, December 11, 2011

worries

A friend of mine had a stillbirth baby today. Finding it out sent me into a bit of a panic mode, because at almost 18 weeks I can't imagine not having my peanut, not feeling his nudges, not dreaming of her future. I can't imagine the pain and agony of making it to labour to give birth to a baby that has no heartbeat, that will not look at me, or cuddle.

I rub my belly and say a prayer for my sweet Peanut. Please stay in there, stay strong, and come out healthy and whole and well. I love you so much Peanut. You have already made my life better, made it more worth living.

I will do better. I will not be so upset about the modified bed rest. I will cherish the chance I have to grow you and love you and cherish you, and I will rest with you in my belly until I get to rest with you in my arms.

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