Meeting the Specialist

When we lost Zyggy a year ago, my doctor told me that he had implanted underneath one of the large uterine fibroids that I had, which resulted in him not getting the blood/nourishment he needed to survive. She told me that fibroids were common in women a bit older than myself, but that usually they were quite small, and at the size that mine were, there was the added (but small) concern that they could be cancerous. She referred me to a specialist that could take them out for me, in case we wanted to try again.

That specialist appointment ended up being booked for April 2, 2012. Fast forward a few months and we were pregnant with our precious Peanut, who implanted fine and began to thrive despite the fibroids. The fibroids continued to grow and cause problems in the pregnancy, but still Peanut grew. At one point they caused a bleed that scared us pretty good, and I look like I am carrying twins or triplets, but have been keeping on.

In December my doctor decided that the fibroids were growing too big, and, coupled with my two vessel umbilical cord, meant I should probably see a specialist. They referred me to the same one that I was meant to see in April anyway, regarding getting the fibroids out, and the date was set for April 4th. The appointment on the 2nd was cancelled and today was the big day.

Over the past couple of weeks I've had some new issues with my heart racing, vision problems, blood pressure rising, contractions, etc, and my doctor kept saying "we will wait until you see the specialist" before they would decide anything or take any more precautions. I spent two agonizing days in and out of the hospital with irregular ECG's, blood work and even a lung scan. It's been trying, to say the least, but I knew that today I would get my answers.

well, today I didn't get my answers.

When we got to the specialist appointment he asked me a few questions. Then he said that fibroids aren't a problem, that the 2 vessel cord might be a problem but they won't know until after birth, that I've had too many ultrasounds, that I am not as far along as I thought I was (based on NO NEW EVIDENCE), and that my doctors have been worrying and I have worried for nothing. He was a bit condescending and made me feel stupid for the concerns that my doctor and I have had (for instance, he called the bleed I had "nothing"...if it was nothing, why was I on bedrest for 8 weeks?). He dismissed my racing heart (not even listening, telling me I shouldn't expect my heart to stay the same when climbing stairs though I clearly told him that it will start beating up to 140 bpm while just sitting and doing nothing, or in the middle of the night), said that since my blood pressure was just on the cusp of high today that it was perfectly normal (even though it is quite a bit higher than is my normal), and said that he won't know if the fibroids are going to be a problem until I'm in labor, and then, if necessary, an emergency c-section will be done. He then said that I might have excess bleeding after, but also won't know about that or do anything until day of.

Basically, we got no answers, were made to feel stupid, and left feeling disappointed. I know that some might think this is ok, that a specialist is saying we shouldn't worry, but these stupid fibroids have caused problems in the past and throughout this pregnacy, so how can he say that they aren't a problem? He commented that they are each the size of a pommello and could cause problems, but doesn't want to have any plan in place?

I wanted to avoid an emergency c section, as those are so much worse on your body. I wanted to have a plan. At the end he told me to "keep on trucking".

I'd like to show him how I keep on trucking. all over his FACE.

Ok. that might have been the pregnancy emotions talking.